|
|
|
_________________ Home |
ESCAPE
FROM VIETNAM Page 2 During
these three years, we also had to take many political classes as part of the
curriculum in school. The purpose of these classes basically is very simple: to
ingrain in our minds the "supremacy of Marxism-Leninism", the
"brilliant and always correct
guidance of the Party", and the "ultimate victory of Communism in the
world". In these
classes, we also had to go through the practice of "criticism and self-
criticism". Basically,
what we had to do is to confess in
front of others of our behaviors, thoughts,
or acts that are in any way inconsistent
with the characteristics of a "good Communist" or harmful,
resentful, or demonstrative of the lack of "political enlightenment".
After doing this
self-crucifying act, we also had
to take criticisms from other of our actions,
thoughts or behaviors and promise to correct them.
Often, those of us whose parents
were former officials and officers of the South Vietnam government took
most of the heat. We had to grit our teeth and listen to others
denouncing our parents as "the blood hounds of the imperialists",
"enemies of the people", "cold blooded criminals", etc..
Looking back, I believed that these are the most trying days of my life.
In a way, I believed that
these experiences are good for me since they taught me, in a very tough way, a
great sense of self control. They
also taught me, in a very early age, to identify for
myself who I am and where do I fit into the great scheme of things.
To control the angers and the frustration I often felt after these
political classes, I usually ended up talking to myself that "I am much
better than these Communists and nothing that they do to me could ever convince
me of otherwise." To
channel the anger into something productive,
I studied as hard as I could to prove to myself that I am actually better than
these self-aggrandizing peasants. As
part of the curriculum, we had to spent many hours working in public work
projects (without pay, of course.) These
public work projects ranged from sweeping roads, schools, planting trees,
building dam, to working in labor camps to clear jungle for agricultural
production. There are times when I
had to spend weeks working in jungles
infested with mosquitoes and leeches.
Every time we worked in these public work projects, we had to provide for
our own foods, medicines and transportation.
Besides the exhausting
physical labors, these projects further strained my family means of
subsistence. More than once, I had malaria from working in the jungles,
making myself a big burden on my mother's already strained shoulders. Though
life was harsh, our family managed to endure the three years from 1975
to 1978 without any major mishaps or accidents.
During this time, my father was moved regularly to many different
re-education camps in Vietnam. Many
time, we had no idea whether he was
alive or where he was placed for quite a few months. The uncertainty of my
father's fate caused additional stress and sufferings for my mother.
At that time, even though life was hard, I was still a kid and I assumed
that no matter what, my father would be alright.
It is this kind of simple rationalization that helped me get rid of most
of the stress that I had to bear. It
was not that simple and easy for my mother. As
I was growing up, I could see the emotional strain eating away at her. She grew old quickly.
Her health steadily
deteriorated. Yet, somehow she
managed to work constantly, earning enough money to feed and keep us in school
and to support my father in jail.
Till this day, I am still amazed at the incredible will power that
kept her going in the face of overwhelming odds and sufferings.
More than once, I shuddered at the thought of what would happen to us had
my mother collapsed. In
early 1978, many events happened that brought additional pressure and problems
to our already threatened existence. Many
armed skirmishes between the Vietnamese and the Khmer Rouge happened in the
western provinces of Vietnam, at the border of Vietnam and Kampuchea.
These skirmishes arose from territorial disputes and the long entrenched
hatred between the Vietnamese and the Cambodian.
Soon, the skirmishes escalated into full battles.
The Vietnamese Communist Party soon decided to send troops to Kampuchea
to topple the Khmer Rouge regime of Pol Pot, thus plunging Vietnam once again
into war. As
the Vietnamese Communist Party propaganda machine increased the volume and
frequency of its shrill condemnations of the Pol Pot regime and the news of
Khmer Rouge's atrocities
against Vietnamese living near the border started flooding in, patriotic fervor
ran high in my high school. Even
many of my South Vietnamese teachers (who were
not communists) believed that the decision to send troops to Kampuchea was right
and well justified. Many
of my friends was also gung ho about the idea of teaching those "savage
Khmer Rouge" a good lesson. However,
as the Vietnamese government began mass mobilization for its army, the dark
realities of war started to dawn on us. At
that time, I was only 14. Though
the government stated that only males over 18 year
old would be enlisted, the fact that the Vietnamese Communists had a long
history of sending boys as young as
10 or 12 years old into battles was not lost on us.
Thus, if I was optimistic, I
could expect to be drafted in four years. If
I was realistic, I could expect to be drafted at any time.
In addition, the fact that my family was considered
to be "the enemies of the people" did not bode well for me.
If I was drafted, I would not be trusted
by Communist commanders. Most
likely, I would be used as laborer on battle
fields or as member of a frontline suicidal squad (The Vietnamese Communists are famous for their massive
human wave tactics.) Home Page 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15
|